Your Zombie Survival Guide Courtesy of the U.S. Army
—This post is Syndicated. Original publish date Sep 28, 2015 on Buzzfeed.com—
With a little training, the U.S. Army can give you all the skills you need to deal with some brain-sucking zombies (doesn’t hurt to have a few Army buds around either).
1. Get your escape vehicle to purr when you need to outrun the horde.
Training as an Avionic Mechanic will ensure that you are always able to get moving when stuck between a rock and a pack of brain nibblers.
2. Map out the area surrounding your base in order to track hordes of flesh suckers.
Not only are Geospatial Engineers trained to map out terrain, but they can find some great naturally occurring hideouts that could be useful to know when running from that horde.
3. Know if a wound is going to lead to any undead behavior.
Take a page out of the Army Medicine’s book and learn to make quick and effective medical decisions so your friends don’t have to endure endless paper-cut pain.
4. Use subtle questions to find out where villainous factions are hoarding food from the people.
You can learn a thing or two from Human Intelligence Collectors in order to become the hero of a world full of slowly decomposing cannibals.
6. Pilot a fleet of bulldozers to clear any cluttered road you’re trying to get down.
Horizontal Construction training will be a surprisingly important set of skills for everything from rebuilding civilization to mowing down the undead horde that is blocking your way to the old burrito factory.
7. Keep track of the essential weapons you’ll need when going out for supplies.
Organization is going to be key during the zombie apocalypse, so having the skills of an Ammunition Specialist is what will separate the chainsaw-wielders from the broomstick-grunts.
8. Build a sick underground base and wait for everything above ground to work itself out.
Having a comprehensive range of skills as an Engineer is going to garner you some pretty sweet real estate once the pandemic takes root.
9. Use science to cure the scourge for good.
Skills as a Biochemist will probably make you an instant apocalypse celebrity.
10. Sue the dude who created the plague in the first place.
Being a Lawyer will come in real handy when all the dust inevitably settles.